In an effort to dig deeper: May 17th, 2010

Peace.  So elusive... yet simplistic.  When you attain it, you're in a state of utter ease... able to take everything life has to throw at you with complete abandon.  There is nothing lost.  And everything's right.

I've found peace in writing.  I've found peace in music.  I've found peace in a good book or in the story of a good movie.  I have never felt this level of peace before... 

Utter contentment... complete vulnerability... a Nirvana I never believed I could find.  This is what I have found in Sara.

I could look into her eyes for hours, never once feeling silly.  I have never been this open, this free... and had it so readily recipricated.  There's a certain calm between us that I cannot fully fathom... the only word I can use to describe it is... peace.

Chance brought us to this point.  Chance that we'd meet the way we did.  Chance that she'd answer my first attempt at communication.  Chance that we'd both so willingly trust one another for that first meeting.  Chance that she wouldn't turn away that first kiss.  

It's been said before... by myself and many others... that they have found the one person that makes them happiest.  The one person they never want to let go of.  But never has that been more true than today.  With her.  

The mistakes of my past that could stand in the way... I will rectify.  The mistakes I am bound to make along the way from this point onward... I will remedy and beg forgiveness.  I will not lose this feeling, this everlasting enjoyment.  I will make every effort to be a better person with each passing day, so that I may deserve someone as beautiful, as smart, as sweet as her.  I will never let go.

There will be hard times.  There ARE hard times.  There are obstacles and things we must endure.  Yet... she makes it easy.  

Peace... true peace... is being happy with everything around you... despite what else may be going on.  You can shut off your mind to the turmoil that may exist and just allow yourself to be enveloped by that which brings joy... contentment... and ecstacy.  I am at peace.  

I will hold onto her for as long as she'll have me... which I hope is a long, long time.