a reason for being and a reason for doing.
things have changed a lot. i've had time to reflect. a lot of time. i've gone through stages of feeling up. i've gone through several stages of feeling low. i've had to come to terms with losing what i've lost. with a diagnosis that still worries me. with bills piling up *smiles* and not being able to work currently.
despite all this... despite the friends i've lost... despite the new shape my life is taking... i find days... like today... where i'm happy. and being able to be happy... really is a gift. it's rare. it can be fleeting. but today i feel it and today that's what counts.
i'm learning that even if murphy's law seems to be in effect currently... there's always a silver lining.
i'm learning it's easier to let go than i ever believed possible... it's just a matter of perspective.
i'm learning that good things WILL happen. even if it's not today.
i'm learning how to be lucky. i'm learning what mistakes i've made. i'm just... learning.
redefinition is the key... to beating down the negatives in my life. to gaining strength to take back control of my life. it isn't easy. i'm just trying to keep my head above water until well... something clicks. until i'm able. it's all a matter of time...
to everyone who's been there... to everyone who's been patient up to this point...
thank you.
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