I was told to never let you go: September 1st, 2009

i've reached a point of self understanding within.  it's brought me no end of contentment.  i'm happy to be where i'm at. 

i believe that the most important thing you can achieve is happiness.  and you should achieve it all costs.  even if it means losing what might be comfortable. 

then there's those who want it all.  which i suppose is understandable.  we all want great things in our life.  it's just that... i don't want everything.  i just want the necessities.  any additions to that would be nice.  but i don't have to have them. 

i've come to this realization that i'm honestly fearful of falling in love again.  of putting myself out there.  of awaiting responses to texts i send.  of wanting to hear someone's voice.  these things are great to one degree but if you put yourself out there, you risk a lot.

i'm afraid of being vulnerable.  of getting attached.  i've met certain people i could see myself getting attached to.  but as soon as i feel myself getting to that point i pull away.  i might be losing something great but i don't risk getting hurt.

which i suppose is a super philosophy. that way you can go through life without ever having to know anyone.  (good will hunting)

in the end it all comes down to what makes you happy. 

honestly... do what it takes to make yourself happy.  despite the cost.  despite the risks.  because it's a sure thing that something better will come along around the bend.