i've been having these weird dreams lately...
i wake up feeling empty. hollow. alone. like i'm nothing.
when i'm in a crowded room i feel like i'm by myself. like no one can see what's going on. if i talk about it i sound like a broken record. i'm sad.
is it situational? is it because of a divorce i never wanted? losing my daughter?
is it because my mind led me down an embarassing path.... that i did and thought things that were in a realm that didn't exist?
is it part of the lows i'll have to learn to deal with?
i don't want to feel this way. that's all i know. embarassed of the kind of parent i am. too hard on myself with the kind of person i am.
i'm tired... and at this point i don't know what it will take to get things on the right track. i'm just sick of looking at myself with an outside perspective and being ashamed of what i see.
No comments:
Post a Comment