i spend a lot of time thinking about her. what i did to wind up here. what i could and couldn't have helped. i lay in bed and stare at the ceiling wondering what she's doing. what milestones i've missed. moments i'll never get back.
her first christmas. missing the chance to give her what i got her and seeing her reaction to all the flashy lights and unnecessary sounds *smiles*. having at least one memory of her.
all i know is i miss her. holding her, making her smile. the way her personality lit up the room for all to see.
i'm big into family and i have a big one. we always had a house filled with love, compassion, understanding, laughter. there's a lot that escapes me in relation to what's happened but that's my problem to conquer and make right.
i just want my little girl to know that i'm fighting for her. as hard as i can. i've been patient. i've been kind. i've understood. and it's clear that i'll never stop fighting.
i know this isn't forever. it just feels like it. and missing all i've missed, dealing with all i've dealt with, overcoming all the obstacles with the people who chose to be there... it's been one hell of a road. but i'll never forget.
when i see her again i'll have a whole mess of pictures up lol... miss you baby girl.
saw some good friends today. john and jess. it was great to catch up... and meeting their son. the kid's gonna be breaking hearts soon lol
other than that i'm looking forward to the concert next month. hell of a lineup! really looking forward to saving abel... they've got some all right tunes. hopin my bro chad gets tickets on time.
shout out to both of my sisters... their respective guys are out of town. long distance is hard but it's definitely not forever. hang in there and as always, i'm always here.
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